Signs, Signs, Everywhere a Sign

I love Italian signs... They just have so much more personality than their American counterparts, even if I can't always understand what they are trying to tell me. And there are so many different kinds of signs here....

There are signs that tell you where you are....

and signs that tell you where you're going.

There are signs that are old....

...and signs that are new.

There are signs to tell you which of Italy's thousands of churches you are looking at.

There are signs that give you instructions or tell you what not to do...

(I have the most trouble trying to understand these.)

If rocks are falling from the cliff... Be sure to swerve. Especially in the rain and snow.

Don't chase after dogs with lassos or baskets

Don't give people in hats high fives.
Also... don't light matches or pour buckets of water on the fire.

Expect to see a man shoveling manure

Do not:
 Spray people on benches with hoses,
Angrily chop down trees,
Or happily pick wild flowers and mushrooms

Do not:
Shoot birds with slingshots,
Hit the slide with a hammer while standing on it,
Or break bottles, put out your cigarettes in cocaine, or drink Pepto-Bismal

Do not:
Try to fly by leaping off of benches,
Light fires with your magic wand,
Or attempt to hurdle flaming benches

Do not:
Let your dog attack a turkey
 (why would a turkey be wandering around this park?),
Or let your dog sit on sausages.